Friday, June 11, 2010

Breaking the Barrier

Although the last one year has been all about meeting new people, learning new things and being at the hub of all activity, as I sat down today doing absolutely nothing, I realized that the one thing I didn’t do was connect with myself. Sure, I learnt a lot in a year - completed projects, met unbelievable deadlines, even pushed myself to the extremes to get a job done. Yet there was something lacking, and I had no inkling what it was. When in Delhi, I remember having a lot of fun, being at peace with myself, satisfied with the way everything was shaping up even though all I did was focus on the present, live for the moment, caring two hoots about the future. And now, it feels like my mind is waging a constant battle with itself. I’m doing something that I’m sure is good for me but I do not like it. Not right now. I’m probably doing it for the future but that’s not me! There are so many other things I’d rather be doing. I love expressing through writing, but did I pursue it? Nay! There was a time when I could not sleep without reading a novel, and now my attention span is close to negligible. I start reading but no book holds my interest. Six months back I took up editing. It was a venture I enjoyed working on, and although I embarked upon it with initial trepidation, I grew more confident when my work was appreciated. I felt great doing something constructive at such a level. I was fixated on doing it well, finishing it on time and I kept trying to convince myself that I had the time for it, even though I didn’t, only because it was something close to my heart. But it didn’t work out. So today, finally, I decided to pull up my socks and get down to business; do everything I want to, not have to. Unclutter the desk that had become my schedule. I pulled out an old Wodehouse novel from the shelf (Uncle Dynamite) and read for more than an hour. I enjoyed myself so much that I ordered another book online (Uncle Fred in the springtime). I then decided to write something and when I could come up with nothing else, well, this is what I penned down. My resolution, henceforth, is to do one thing everyday that I absolutely enjoy doing, no matter how lame or juvenile it is (who needs the approach of a new year to make resolutions, anyway!) Let’s hope I can force myself to get up on time tomorrow morning to go for a long nature walk – something I’ve wanted to do for months!

We all often want to do something radically unusual, try out a new look or quit a job and pursue what our hearts desire but we don’t because it’s a norm to conform to the society, and not be seen as rebels. That’s because we love being loved. And we want to be accepted. But I believe that if it’s a call from deep within you, stick to it. It’s all about breaking that one barrier.

13 comments:

You know its me.. Don't you said...

i dont have anything to comment on what you have written but about your decision, thats a very good thing you have done. do what you enjoy. and do the impossible to make it possible.

All the best frnd...

You know its me.. Don't you said...

i dont have anything to comment on what you have written but about your decision, thats a very good thing you have done. do what you enjoy. and do the impossible to make it possible.

All the best frnd...

Vikram said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vikram said...

itz gud u decided to do wat u like...bt the world u gonna enter after ur mca, u gonna be stuffed with hell lot of more work to do..

Baljinder Singh said...

It was really an inspirational post....I, too, want to get up early in the morning n have a walk in the beatific surroundings that a fresh day offers daily....hope tom is tat day....
Nice post..:)

Appy said...

@Yes, I do know its you - thanks :)

Appy said...

@Vikram - No, Im never going to be stuffed with work ever. It is totally my call!

Appy said...

@Baljinder- Thanks :) Hope you, too, accomplish what your heart desires.

meenakshi said...

yayy..happy to see a post on ur blog ...a wonderful thought appy... jst have to say kp blogging... m ur fan :)

Sachin Gupta said...

nice thought.... it'll b really gud if u do it..... but i want to wake up as late as possible ..... lol....

Appy said...

@Meanie - thanks sweety, love you tons!

Appy said...

@Sachin - Sure, I usually do that too, just something I was thinking about. Anyway, to each his own :)

SONU_ROCKS said...

hmmmmmmm nic3 on3